Speaking in a preview ahead of her interview with CBS Sunday Morning, Kesha briefly addressed the eating disorder that forced her to check into rehab in 2014. “I knew I had to because I hated myself so much,” she said. More of Kesha’s thoughts on the disorder are expected to be disclosed this weekend, when the interview airs.
This isn’t the first time that the musician has opened up about her lengthy battle with an eating disorder. “I really just thought I wasn’t supposed to eat food. And then if I ever did, I felt very ashamed, and I would make myself throw up because I’d think, ‘Oh, my god, I can’t believe I actually did that horrible thing.’ I’m so ashamed of myself because I don’t deserve to eat food,” she explained to Rolling Stone last year.
The Tik Tok hit maker also admitted at the time that her serious problem with food got worse as she became more famous. “I was slowly, slowly starving myself. The worse I got and the sicker I got, the better a lot of people around me were saying that I looked [good],” she said. “They would just be like, ‘Oh my gosh, keep doing whatever you’re doing! You look so beautiful, so stunning.’”
Kesha revealed that she reached a point when she knew knew she needed to needed to seek for professional help to fight against her unhealthy relationship with food. “I just remember crying into a carbohydrate, being like, I can’t eat it. It’s going to make me fat, and I’m fat, I can’t be a singer because pop stars can’t eat food — they can’t be fat,’” she said, recalling what her thoughts were when she met with a nutritionist.
However, in spite of the unfortunate situation she had when she battled the eating disorder, Kesha says that something good actually came out of those dark days: her album Rainbow. The personal record, released in August last year, was a turning point for the singer because it made her feel like she has already regained her life back, according to E! News.